I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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