I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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