Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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