you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
