If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
