no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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