Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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