Who wears a wallet chain?!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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