Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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