K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
