We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
