After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize