Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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