At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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