Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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