I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
