I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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