I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
