we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
