loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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