I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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