if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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