My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
