Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
