i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
