so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
