who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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