grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
