So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize