That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
