i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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