I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
