Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
