How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
