before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
