i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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