Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
