People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Screwed.edu
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize