Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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