it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
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Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
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Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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