evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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