I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
