Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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