He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
