I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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