He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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