He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
