i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
