Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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