she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Still dying that you shit outside
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
