sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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