You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
