so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.