i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
