Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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