forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
