I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
