You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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