I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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