alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
