she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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