did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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