I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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